“It’s not the Quantity of Time you spend with someone. What counts most is the Quality of Time with them.”
This popular myth has been communicated for decades without much challenge – until today. I hereby register my formal complaint as to the accuracy or usefulness of that claim.
Before you get concerned over my loss of objectivity, permit me to explain.
Quantity is, of course, the amount of time, and Quality is the value or perceived value of that time. But here’s the dilemma; you cannot just create Quality Time because you want to. Much of it comes spontaneously during the Quantity of Time we are with someone.
For example, I can recall scores of life lessons and meaningful moments with my dad that were never pre-planned. They occurred while we were painting the house (a chore I did NOT want to do) or while we were sitting for hours in a fishing boat, hoping that something would bite. When we worked together in the yard or at his workbench in the garage, many character-building discussions ensued. Dad loved to drive down country roads to find out where they would go. I hated the boredom but loved my dialogue with Dad.
You see, the quality moments when we genuinely connect with others and mold opinions or shape beliefs usually occur while we are doing something else that doesn’t require our total concentration. Personally, I’ve tried to create times where my grandchildren would learn important lessons from my stories and life experiences, but those seldom achieve my desired results. What does happen, though, is “teachable moments” occur during otherwise mundane experiences. Likewise, when grandma’s cooking a family dinner with the kids help, she’s also imparting lessons and stories that solidify beliefs and cement important character traits and values.
What this means to you is this; at work, you’re the patriarch or matriarch. You’re grandpa or grandma in this context. In other words, your people look to you as their example, guide, and teacher. Much of what you know and understand can be imparted through training sessions and staff meetings, but some of it can only come about through relaxed reflection and casual conversation. The Quality Time that’s needed will best be created during the Quantity Time you spend beside them at the workbench or driving together to get some parts or drop off a vehicle. This is true even during long periods of silence. By the way, don’t play the radio; keep the silence, allowing space for dialogue.
If you intentionally carve out times to work side by side with each of your people, you’ll naturally impart much of the wisdom and insight that they wouldn’t pick up otherwise. At least once a month, make a point of doing something with each person on your team. Do something time-consuming, maybe even boring or tedious, but do it, so you spend an hour or more with each person each month.
You may feel that your work is more important than this and rationalize that this just isn’t practical considering your workload. Well, my friend, I disagree. I think this IS your job, and the other tasks you do might be more urgent, but none of them is more important.
Spend time with your people! Otherwise, you’ll find that they don’t grow to maturity, so they can make good decisions on their own. And if they don’t grow, you’ll never be able to delegate portions of your work to them. Help them become wiser and more capable.
Knowledge is imparted through teaching. Wisdom is learned through experience. To help them become wiser, they need to hear your stories, see your in-the-moment choices, and watch your reactions as challenges arise. A story is an experience. A deep discussion is an experience. A live-in-the-moment observation of your leader doing what you will soon need to do…is also an experience.
Give your people more experiences with you. Make time for those who matter; so you all can do more of what matters to your customers and your business.
